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1. Everyone is crying.
Okay, there are some sane people (read, anyone who doesn’t have crazy pregnancy hormones pulsing through their bodies) on the flight. But you and the baby? You’re crying. You’re happy crying, sad crying, tired crying, scared crying… and your baby’s just crying because that’s what babies do. Just kidding, they’re hungry, tired, need a diaper change or miss their mom. So get on that while you tired cry some more.
2. You’re pretending to be cool as a cucumber.
When you're not crying behind the scenes, you're trying to play it cool out in public. You're telling those around you not to worry because planes don’t crash due to turbulence, while at the same time inconspicuously googling plane crash statistics. Same thing in mom life. When people ask, your baby’s sleeping fine. She’s happy as a clam. Eating great. Breastfeeding is a breeze. You’ve got a laid back answer for everything because you’re the “calm, cool and collected mom”. It’s all rainbows and unicorns over at your house. Behind the scenes you’re the paranoid freak (every new mom) googling everything from rashes and baby poop to normal breathing patterns and choking hazards.
3. You think everyone is going to die.
Baby, you, dad, everyone. You’re constantly preparing for the worst and giving into all of your hypochondriac tendencies. You cry over the limited time your baby’s grandparents will have with them, and then cry over hoping to live to see your own grand-babies one day. You google symptoms and realize that you, your baby or spouse have only minutes to live. You give more thought to your own mortality than you’d ever imagine possible… “I just want more time… time to watch my baby go to Kindergarten, graduate, walk down the aisle, change the world…” Which leads to…
4. You pray. A lot.
Nothing like a turbulent flight to make you try and strike up a bargain with God. When faced with your own mortality or a constant fear of something happening to the little creature you love most, a funny thing happens. You get really close to God, and quick. Even throughout pregnancy you find yourself trying to bargain with God, praying and begging for a healthy baby and a lifetime of love and laughter together. Building a relationship with Him is the only thing that brings peace to your anxious thoughts. Sure you could hire a therapist, but God is free and eternal.
5. Just when the seatbelt sign goes off and you think it’s smooth sailing, you hit a massive bump.
“Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts.” Buckle up buckaroo. Just when you think you’ve got your little one figured out, bam! She enters a new phase. You’ve finally got a great routine going. You are reminded of what it feels like to have a full night’s sleep, or a specific time during the day (nap time) where you can check off your to-do list. And then, just like that, your mini-me changes things up and reminds you who’s the captain now.
6. Personal space goes out the window.
You’re crammed. It’s bumpy. You’re making contact with another human being literally almost all the time it seems. Your body now belongs to your baby. From breastfeeding to mornings with a two foot energizer bunny jumping on your face, you are just there to provide food and a jungle gym.
7. There’s no escape, you just have to ride it out.
You can’t just open up the door and parachute out. This adventure is FOR LIFE. You’ve got to just ride it out. Take the smooth times and the bumpy times and try to enjoy every second, because, believe it or not, it will be over before you know it and these are the good old days.
8. You swear you’re never getting on a plane again.
And then low and behold, it’s not too long before, yup, you guessed it, you’re back on that plane bringing what somehow turned into a family of four down to Disney World. Everyone kept asking when you were going to have another and your response was always, “whoaaaa… too soon. TOO SOON.” Then, out of the blue, you blink and your baby is not a baby anymore. They’re running around and pulling their weight around the house a little more (ha) and you get to thinking it’s not so difficult and you do miss having that cute little baby around...
9. No matter how bumpy it gets, it takes you somewhere amazing.
Planes generally don’t crash from turbulence. You are not going to crash as a mom. You are going to go on the best adventure of your life. It may be scary, you may be a level of tired you didn’t know existed, and there may be tearful bumps along the way, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world.